Friday, November 25, 2011

Saving our Own first?

I've seen the arguments people face single parents looking to start a family through adoption: we should "Save our Own" first.

Meaning, we should adopt from within the USA before going elsewhere.

I can see the logic there. Its important to adopt children from within the Foster Care system within our own country. Its also important to provide homes for children in developing nations who otherwise wouldn't have a home. Which is better? Its hard to say. I think each case is genuinely personal.

If I decide to adopt from the Congo and bring in a child who would likely die without my help, is this a stronger pull than adopting a child from the foster care system in the states who otherwise might not be adopted?

I kind of think so. There are more people adopting children in the USA than in other developing countries. If I was in a position to adopt a child in the USA, I would do it! Sadly, thats not a real possibility for here in Utah since I'm still navigating and learning about the process here. Its sad and unfortunate but some of the rules in Utah are a bit biased and unfair. Favoring typical families to an atypical one.

However, I've had a few people say to me that adopting from outside the USA is selfish and I should be more patriotic and adopt from within. And then I remind them that the purpose of doing this is also to provide a home for a child who wouldn't have one... regardless of where the child is coming from, that child is going to get a home with me if I'm ever given an opportunity.


El Genio said...

"Our own" shouldn't refer only to people within the United States. To think of a child like that is incredibly offensive (not saying you are, just that I find the idea that other people put forward offensive). We are all human beings. Is a child somehow worth more or less because of where it was born? A child is a child is a child. Wherever it comes from, there is value in giving it a better life.

Post-It Boy said...

I will be honest about part of my reason to adopt a baby from the Congo... and its not necessarily as noble as saving a life: I think dark-skinned babies are soooo beautiful. However, even in the adoption world, a dark baby is less valuable in a sense than a white baby. A blond-blue eyed little infant would be snatched up in seconds while a darker-skinned one would not be. To me, a child is beautiful and precious. So regardless of where the child comes from, he or she deserves a home. If you saw the deplorable conditions of children I've seen in the Congo, you'd want to start filling out paperwork right away.

Lance said...

I take a lot of inspiration in your words. I am in your exact situation, a gay mormon man, living a single celibate life and wanting children more than anything in the world. Thank you for your blog. You aren't alone, and It's comforting to know that I'm not either.

Post-It Boy said...

Lance, I'm glad that I'm not the only one! Believe me, I think I'm the first gay Mormon celibate writing a baby blog. haha. So nice to know there's another out me who wants to be a father. If you are interested in writing to me, I can tell you what I've been learning about adoption and surrogacy for the last... long while. Don't want to admit how baby-happy I am. Let me know and I'll give you my personal email. :)

Lance said...

I would love to get any information you have, as well as just have someone to discuss things with. Please email me and let me know.


Post-It Boy said...

I don't have a way to reach you so why don't you email me at Thats a personal email account. I'll delete this comment once I've heard from you and we can chat baby stuff. :)