Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Adoption in Utah

I've brought this up recently... and its something which I'm still struggling with.

Why are people so opposed to single-parent adoption? Or to homosexuals adopting?

In my case, I'm an unmarried same-gender attracted guy... But I don't even think of myself as SGA. I think of myself as simply "Post-it Boy"---although I use my own name and not my online identity---

I love children. I had a rough childhood at times and I'd like to fix that for another child... giving a wonderful childhood and growing-up experience. Allowing a child to live a life which I never had. I'm working on building a successful career, saving for a house, and I have a dog. What more could a kid want?

So why in the legal perspective am I unfit to be a father in the state of Utah?

With all my good qualifications leading me to potentially be a wonderful parent and father, why is one---my sexuality---which is not even a large part of my life... where I'm not sexually active... the ONLY thing which is then seen by potential child service workers who would be evaluating my abilities to parent?

"So Post it Boy, you are active in your church... have a stable career... have a loving and supportive family... BUT you like how Orlando Bloom looks in a wet t-shirt so therefore, sorry!"

I mean, come on! What person wouldn't like Orlando Bloom? :)

Anyway, I just don't understand it. Why would ONE quality of mine which is minor and rather insignificant to raising a child be the determining factor? Especially when there are people out there who abuse and don't love their children. Or people who get drunk---their children aren't necessarily taken away even though, to me, drinking is worse than sexuality since even if I WAS sexually active, its not like that would affect my raising a child. Being drunk and hitting a kid? It WOULD affect the raising of a child.

It just boggles my mind. Laws need to change!


Mr. B. said...

Sad isn't it. As I understand it, a single man or woman can adopt in Utah, but not a gay man or lesbian couple. Isn't being single or single (and maybe gay) the same in conundrum in adoption?

I can see how other states may prefer a male/female couple for adoption, but still accept a single or gay couple as reliable parents. Utah and Florida are the only (as far as I know) that won't let gay or lesbians adopt children.

Even though it doesn't apply to me anymore (I moved from Utah), it still really hurts. What if I adopt where I live and want to move there. Would I (or my child) be accepted ... or shunned.

Post-It Boy said...

Utah does have laws about gay people adopting. I'm already looking into possibilities of getting around this law... I've kind of fallen in love with the idea of adopting from the Congo. So many children are in need of being adopted from there, its kind of sad that so many children are there and need parents... The Congo will allow single male adoptions, usually allowing single males to adopt little boys. I just emailed an agency about the possibility of adopting from there---but I need to figure out the Utah issue. I suppose I could lie about my sexuality to get my homestudy approved. haha.

Brian said...

It's my understanding that this only applies to heterosexual couples living together, or gay couples -- but now single people who wish to adopt. And why would you have to admit to people you don't know, that you ARE gay? It's none of their business IF you are single and celibate as you are now.

Post-It Boy said...

Single people who wish to adopt in Utah... Already looked into the issues.

1) They cannot be living with another unmarried person. (Blood relatives might be an exception depending on who you talk to. i.e. I could live with my sister without many issues.)

2) You cannot be known to be gay or the adoption will be denied. The homestudy won't even be finished if you are gay. However, the agencies I've talked to seem to be against this law.

Essentially, a known homosexual whether single or not cannot adopt legally in Utah. A single man or woman cohabiting even with a roommate in a non-sexual way cannot adopt.

They're making it harder for non-standard families to exist.