Monday, November 14, 2011


Those who are attracted to members of the less fair sex---namely mohos, homosexuals, etc.---have issues of finding acceptance from our culture, ourselves, community and even from our Heavenly side of the family. Why is this?

As a child, I never felt like I fit in exactly. I was always different. Regardless of the reasons behind this, it was how I felt. I never felt like I fit in completely. I was always an outcast: I loved to read during lunch while the kids in my class liked to play sports and do things of a more social nature. I don't regret reading as much as I did, since I still love to read. I became smarter because of it. And it developed my love of writing.

However, it was a strange passion to be involved with as a child. I wasn't accepted for it--in fact, I was ridiculed.

As a teenager, I never felt popular and accepted. Although some said I was well-liked by my peers. I just wasn't popular in my mind. I had friends who were jocks, drama club nerds, artists, goths, freaks, Latinos (in my school, they were a seperate distinction since I grew up in a very multi-cultural area!) and even the Born-Again-Christians and nerds were counted amongst my friends.

In college, I gradually became less shy and more sociable and when I was at my first college had lots of friends. When I transferred, I had fewer but still managed to have fun sometimes.

I went through therapy and learned to---hate to say the cliche---to love myself. I accepted my attractions for the first time in my life and realized I wasn't a scourge of the earth.

Sadly, no one had ever told me my worth as a child. No one ever told me of my inner goodness or virtue. Or endless possibilities.

I sometimes am still plagued by a resentment about my attractions: Without them, I'd be a different person. Maybe not better, maybe not worse. But different. I'd be married with children by now.

And, it sometimes is hard to feel loved by our Heavenly family as we don't feel like we belong even to our earthly one.

When we accept ourselves, with all our faults and flaws, positives and rewarding, without condition or shame... THAT is when we'll be who we've always wanted to be.

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