Thursday, September 25, 2014

Your Haircolor is a Sin!

Imagine being told everyday that someone of your hair color is likely going to be despised by society. From the time your haircolor is first noticeable, you’re an outcast.

Trying to do what is best, your parents might offer some advice once the signs start showing of your haircolor---You might be able to cover it up with a hat, but its still there underneath and someone might see. You could dye your hair, but its a fa├žade which would have to be maintained all the time. Every couple of weeks you’d need to do touch-ups to cover up your haircolor. You wouldn't really be changing it permanently. You could wear a wig, but its also temporary. If it fell off, you’d reveal your identity and be an outcast.

Then imagine being a confused kid who has a haircolor which makes him or her feel unwelcome. Imagine being teased mercilessly in school for having that haircolor. Being spit on, kicked, beaten up, bullied. Have you ever been bullied for something which you have no control over? Sure. But imagine being worried that your own family would ALSO bully you.

Go to church and imagine being told "Someday, your haircolor will maybe change!" Since young children sometimes are born with a haircolor which they won't have as adults. Haircolor could just be temporary! “It’s just a phase you’ll grow out of.”

Imagine having one haircolor as a child which is acceptable… but then imagine growing older and your hair changes colors to something which isn’t acceptable. Who are your real friends? Will you be abandoned by your family? Kicked out of church? Will you try to cover it up again? You’ve always been that haircolor genetically, but its just revealing itself now!

Would your family reject you if they knew about your haircolor? Will your mom find empty boxes of hair dye in the garbage can while cleaning your room after you’ve secretly experimented with changing your appearance so you can fit it?

Maybe you would seek help on the internet since your pastor, teachers and friends wouldn’t understand you. Maybe look online to try to find permanent changes to your haircolor. Experimental laser treatments, shaving one’s head, hair extensions, prayer that your haircolor would change and you’d be normal, etc. ANYTHING to cover up your shameful haircolor.

As a teenager, you might feel excluded not just because people are unkind… but because you don’t know who really loves you.

Maybe you’re in college one day after successfully hiding your true hair color for many years. Then you turn on the TV and find out that people with your hair color have had hate-crimes done against them. People you might know are hospitalized, killed, or attacked outside a nightclub. You wouldn’t feel safe.

You wouldn’t know who loves you for your true self because you’ve had to cover up your haircolor your whole life.

You’d feel shame over yourself. Might even eventually think to kill yourself? Or maybe seek out the company of others whose hair is like yours? Who are open about their haircolor and fight against people who say “That shade is wrong!” “That shade will send you to hell!” or “That haircolor is against the bible!”

Wouldn’t that be awful to have to hide yourself? Cover up your identity? Worry about being the target of a hate-crime.

You’ve probably never had to experience any of those kinds of those in life, unless you’re a homosexual.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Internalized Hate: SSA vs. Gay

In the past, I've been a supporter of the argument of the SSA\SGA vs. gay logic. I understand that some choose to label themselves one way. I understand that labels are designed in such a way that one can change how one is perceived (including by ourselves.)

I also understand Ty Mansfield has spoken out heavily about this topic. He believes that labeling oneself as gay will lead to leaving the church, self-acceptance on "bad" levels, etc.

Whether or not this is true is another blog topic.

What I have noticed is an internalized homophobia which has been festering within the Moho community for years---one which is displayed when one switches from one label to another. You see, many guys say "I have SSA" in an attempt to be known as a safe-stalwart person who is not going to lead anyone astray. When that person changes to "I am gay" he is often times ostracized. Has he changed his personality? I doubt it. Has he committed a felony? Murdered a family of kittens? Kicked a homeless man? Stolen candy from a baby? No. He's merely changed his perspective over time. He's changed the label.

Now, that change of the label MAY or MAY NOT have anything to do with a changing of beliefs, morals, or values. However, it is PERCEIVED that this person's values have changed. Therefore, it is okay to paint a Scarlet Letter on him, metaphorically stone him in the town square, and then ignore him\unfriend him\block him.

I find this deplorable, if for no other reason than to know that Scarlet is not the color this season and no homosexual should be using anything but the highest of fashion trends...

Kidding about that last sentence.

But I do find it deplorable.

Essentially, it is the same definition with only minor differences in what it may, or more likely, MAY NOT be the same individual.

Just because someone has come to a different level of self-acceptance doesn't mean that the person is wicked, evil, should be shunned, ignored or hated.

To me, this is internal homophobia.

We have enough homophobia in the world without finding excuses for more to be brought into our lives by hating ourselves and those we perceive could be enemies or threats.

The only threats out there in the world are hate-filled people.

Don't be one of them.