Thursday, September 29, 2011


I might be getting a better job sooner than I had thought. Which means I might be able to financially get on track. Will I ever be rich? I doubt it. But at least I can think about my future more.

I think about babies all the time. I don't know why I am this way. Is it a sign that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing? I feel good when I pray about it... so maybe there is something which will happen which will be positive from my having a family of my own.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Big Decision... in the making

I've made a big decision in my life which is going to be both exciting and controversial at the same time... I'm going to become a father.

Wait, are you married Post-it Boy? Nope. Are you GOING to get married? Nope.

Haha. Now I've confused everyone.

I've thought about it a lot the last year and I've decided I'm going to have a surrogate and\or adopt a baby. I've been reading about the pros and cons of outsourcing a surrogacy to India, finding my own surrogate in the states, hiring a friend, etc. (All are legal options.) However, I'm leaning towards India.

Utah adoptions don't allow for single fathers, technically, which I find to be rather bigoted. Men aren't seen as good of care-givers. If I adopted out of state, thats a possibility but then it would cause a problem with the finalization in Utah. Sigh.

Surrogacy is my top option since then the child would contain my DNA. I've always wanted a child of my own who I could teach things to---

I'm not getting married so I would raise the child with the help of friends and family, or I would do it alone and hire a part-time caregiver\nanny while I work during the day. Something like that. I am going to raise my child in the gospel to respect gospel standards and as a true Latter-day Saint. As I am single, I will ask someone in my family to have the baby sealed to him or her---right now, I am thinking I'd probably ask my sister who is married with three children of her own. My eldest sister is a possibility except she's not very active in the church. She has no children of her own though. So maybe she would be okay with the idea---

My family doesn't know. They'll freak out on me at first but I think they'll be okay as time progresses. I haven't decided how or when to tell them either.

This is still a ways off---I'd like to do this in 2 years. By then, I'm hoping to get out of debt and be able to save at least enough for the first part of the surrogacy round. I can pay it off in stages during the pregnancy of the surrogate.

I haven't always been looking forward to my future as an active LDS person... since I find my singles ward to be very lonely. And as I don't date, I don't fit in very well... since half the ward is marriage and dating crazy. I have no friends in my ward---like always---so if I had a child, I'd move to a family ward. Where I'd probably be ostracized a bit for being a single father but I don't plan on explaining my situation to anyone. Let them think I'm divorced or widowed. No one talks to me at church anyway so let the gossip fly!

Anyway... if any of my readers want to talk about this post privately that's fine. I don't want any negativity or people telling me I'm going to hell for having a child alone. I've already had one of my closest friends be kind of negative about it and I don't want to hear it. I cannot be excommunicated for having a surrogate or adopting as a single man. And I've also prayed about it and feel good about my decision.

No child will be more loved than mine. End of discussion.