Sunday, September 2, 2012

"Why has no one ever loved me?"

I'm sentimental when I'm sad.

There's this quote from As Good as it Gets which I've altered to fit me, as I'm not a waitress. Just edited out words here and there...

"...I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest man on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you and never get that they just met the greatest man alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me... "

This was said by Melvin Udall, a man who is not only obsessive compulsive, but also a real jerk. He fell in love with this waitress and changed both of their lives in the process.

I kind of wish someone would say something like that to me and mean it.

I know that from the gospel perspective I shouldn't worry about those things, since I'll have a wife in the eternities and everything will be fine and dandy... covered in peaches and cream. But its just not enough.

When I think about all the things which I'd have to give up to have someone say and think the above about me, it is scary. But I am also scared of my future in general. I just want to have a good life full of happiness. Right now, I can only remember a few recent times where I was truly happy in that moment.

I know I'm poetic and sentimental. But I believe that there is true happiness in life which can be found with a loving relationship regardless of gender. I just don't know if I'll ever have that in life.

1 comment:

Dean Scott said...

For me the question is not "Why has no one ever loved me." I am loved lots in the aggregate - by family, by friends, by classmates, by co-workers.

My question is, "Why have I not been able to find one man who I will love and will love me as a companion?"

I did a day trip to the NC coast yesterday. It was the most beautiful day at the beach I have seen in ages and I had a great time visiting sites that I love, but it was still lonely. I so wanted to share the experience with someone special.

Yes - I posted some photos and my friends and family liked them so the experience was shared to some extent, but I really wanted to share it with a companion, a partner, one man.