Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Some of my thoughts on affection

I know it will be unpopular for me to say so, but I believe that affection can and should have its place within the SGA community. I'm not saying the affection has to be sexual, in fact, I think it best if it is not. However, I think that a healthy balance of finding affection is safe within this community.

Why do I say this?

Well, I think that the church is unwavering in its desire for us to be normal. If not the church headquarters, then the church community. We don't fit in and as we continue in the church refusing to leave, I think that the church will need to figure out a place for us. At the same time, we seek companionship and love just like anyone else. Should we be completely void of companionship, friendship, and love? I don't think so.

Some church leaders mistakenly tell their ward members dealing with this not to even associate with others who do. Since we're evidently all horny monkeys and cannot control our sexuality at all. However well-meaning church leaders hope to be, I don't believe they are inspired when they say these things. I know it might sound mean of me to say that church leaders are not always inspired. However, I don't think it is the case. I believe if Brigham Young hadn't taken over the church, policy would have continued to allow the African American population to hold the priesthood (as Joseph Smith was supportive of blacks having the priesthood---much more so than Brigham...) It takes years for policies to change in the church, especially when supported by false doctrine like the Blacks being less righteous in the pre-earth life or whatever.

Where am I going with this?

Church leaders might support us having no affection or friendship within the SGA community as times because they don't know how to deal with us. We're an enigma which doesn't make sense to their brains. So they give us the best advice they can think of. Just like when Brigham and other leaders tried to justify their I-believe-racist accusations common with the times that Black people were wicked and cursed. Church leaders are doing their best now to offer their advice which is often times limited to their lack of experience, knowledge, and understanding.

My life has been forever blessed by the friendships that I have known within the SGA community. The healthy levels of affection---hugging my friends when I see them, putting an arm around them in time of need---etc. have helped me immensely and also helped my friends who were struggling. To deny us this would be like allowing a wound to continue to grow an infection when it has a chance to heal. (I'm not saying that our attractions are a wound or infection---merely saying that there's healing which can come which would otherwise be denied.)

And yes, I've kissed men. I don't think this is a problem under good circumstances with the right motivations of friendship, love, respect, etc. I've also kissed women. And let me tell you, its like I'd be kissing a peach or something. And I've gotten hugs and cuddled with women. Those experiences were not as healing as when I've gotten the long-sought after affection from men.

Of course, I warn everyone that there are those who would seek to do harm to us. But true friends wouldn't. Seek after good friends, good forms of companionship, and do not break any boundaries. Find safe friends with whom you trust. Don't go the craigslist route since that is rarely, if ever, a safe option.

Just my thoughts and 2 cents of controversy.

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