Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Focus on marriage... or something more?

I got an email today from a friend of mine who was feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of marriage. Evidently several of his friends lately are getting married. He's at the age just above graduation---and I am nearing it as well being nearly 26---that is just beginning to be over the "boundary" of normalcy for marriage.

Brigham Young is oft mis-quoted (or should I say ill-documented and poorly quoted as the age changes repeatedly) as saying single men in their late 20's were menaces to society.

Single people don't seemingly have a place in the church. I can assure you that every great aunt of mine has wondered why I'm not married. I've even had a cousin of my mother's try to hook me up AT A FAMILY REUNION. I know what its like to be a Single Mormon. Believe me.

What if Moho's stopped caring about marriage? What if marriage wasn't their motivation to stay in the church---?

So many Moho's say "I want a wife and children. That is why I keep battling!"

Well, that reason is good enough to stay in the church for now. But will it work 10 years from now?

Couldn't there be a better reason to stay?

Like... what about if instead of focusing on marriage and family as a commitment, we focused more on "I want to be a good person" or "I'd like to be with my Saviour someday, so I will live according to how he taught..."

Wouldn't that be a longer-lasting reason to continue with our life of honoring church commitments?


On a sidenote, I've had another friend of mine tell me he's received personal inspiration that going the gay route is okay with the Lord and he's allowed to have a sexual relationship with his partner. Does anyone else hear this? Personally, I'd rather stick with what the Prophet is saying rather than trying to change doctrine. Just curious if anyone's come across this.

Happy New Years! Make 2008 super hot and awesome!







4 comments:

Danish Boy said...

Yeah! I agree that there is a better reason than just wanting to get married and have children. You can also look at it as being a much happier person. I don't believe that living the gay lifestyle is going to make anyone happy. In fact it will cause quite the opposite. Hope your doing well buddy! Happy New Year!

alea said...

I've come across the "I'd received revelation that gay's ok" quite a bit. I wonder about the source of said revelation, but who am I to question it? I'm particularly bothered by the notion that we're just supposed to follow the prophet for several reasons. First, there's always the chance for error on his part, either through being a product of his culture or misunderstanding God's will or not asking the right question or not considering the alternatives and so on. Secondly, and more importantly, what's the point of saying that we can receive personal, specific revelation and then bind that in by saying it's only real inspiration if it follows the teachings of the Church?

It's the Nephi paradox: how do we know it's God that tells Nephi to kill Laban? Because that's what Nehpi believes and tells us. Now, I'm not asserting that sleeping with your beau is equal to saving a nation from dwindling in unbelief. Rather, I'm saying that individual circumstances sometimes make for different rules (another good example here would be Abraham lying by calling his wife his sister).

Connected with this, a loving Heavenly Father is probably going to have a much better job of sorting out what is actually a sin and what isn't when it comes time for us to make our accounting. I'm all for the laissez-faire form of Church governance.

One of So Many said...

On a sidenote, I've had another friend of mine tell me he's received personal inspiration that going the gay route is okay with the Lord and he's allowed to have a sexual relationship with his partner. Does anyone else hear this? Personally, I'd rather stick with what the Prophet is saying rather than trying to change doctrine. Just curious if anyone's come across this.

Well Said Post it. I sometimes question people's revelations when they say they can do something that seems grossly prohibited by the church.

Why can't they just accept what they really want and can do, without trying to morally justify it? You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Felicity said...

I love your thoughts on being single in the church. I completely agree that our activity in the church should be based on a testimony of the Savior, rather than a desire to get married. Kudos to you.