Friday, December 21, 2007

A "curing" sort of Love

I don't say cure in the sense that many of you are thinking. I don't see same gender attraction as having a cure. To me, that sounds first like there's something WRONG with me medically... and nothing is wrong with me. I'm not a cracked mirror or a broken vase which can be fixed with glue.

The cure I am talking about is a diminishing level of temptation. NOT a diminishing level of attractions to that person necessarily.

When I moved into my first college apartment, I'd never lived with non-relatives before. I'd also never been away from home for that long, nor lived in the state or in such a Mormon atmosphere. I lived with 5 other guys. At first, I was very awkward about it because I'd never had guy friends and I was worried that maybe one of them would pick up on the clues about my behavior or something... Not a flamer but I have some Moho traits. :)

I eventually have lived with about 30 roommates. I counted them once and counted remember all the names. That is what happens when every four months you sometimes get 2-3 different roommates. At BYU I've had somewhere around 14 roommates in 2 years. Pretty crazy, huh?

I have been attracted to some. However, the attraction diminished as I got to know and respect them. I lived with one particular hottie who was rather "dreamy." I did walk in on him once changing and while I didn't see anything beyond his naked body from the side (no frontal---seriously was an adonis like Greek side statue pose) it wasn't a temptation for me to have thoughts of him linger in my mind. Why? Because I loved him and I thought of him very highly. The temptation to let those thoughts linger had left the equation. Granted, he likes girls so short of my having VERY powerful seductive powers, I think he would have been safe.

It brings me to my next point about loving someone enough that there is a "cure."

We've been discussing the whole non-sexual Moho relationships here as a form of balancing one's life with the gospel. And I do still stand by the fact that if two Moho's are on the same church activity level, it is possible. But ... that's for another post.

Someone asked "Well, wouldn't living with a Moho cause issues?" In my case, no. I've lived with two Moho's. Never kissed either. Not even a peck on the cheek. I respected them too much. And I know both found me attractive---but who wouldn't??? just teasing.

Anyway, I think that if you love someone---TRULY love that person---you will be able to overcome temptation thoughts and behaviors and be supportive of each other.

I say this from personal experience. I think that its possible to love someone enough that you want that person in the celestial kingdom with you--not as husband and husband---but just to be able to spend eternity knowing they were able to achieve that glory. I think you can love someone enough that temptation leaves and can be replaced by a feeling of more support, affection, etc. You love the person enough that you don't want that person to stray from the gospel.

ANOTHER thought... What if you could love yourself enough you wouldn't want YOU to suffer through a lower kingdom? Do you love yourself enough that you'd want to do everything you could to let yourself go to the highest kingdom. No matter what challenges you have in this life?!?!!

Post-It Boy


One of So Many said...

Such a strong love would be ideal. Not something easy to come by.

I have to laugh because I've heard from a lot of others that as you get to know someone your attractions lessen.

For me it is quite the opposite. The more I get to know someone the stronger the attractions.

MrChoriz said...

i agree with you moho when you love very deep someone you care about him... if not is just attractions.. love is change and love is to want the other person be happy and the only way to be happy in this life is keepin the church active and the love a lot of times is a mean from the word sacrifice... and if you sacrifice your sexual desires just for this love to the other person it would be always worth it... its just a hard decition.. it will be worth it i am sure of it.. it will be the real happiness for each other even when u cant have sex or a family.. moho i admire you i am ur fan!

Mr Choriz