Sometimes I think I'm the last Moho who still goes to church. And the fact that right now I feel like I'm slipping through the cracks of the gospel. . . Am I the only one who feels this way?
Last week I found out my old friend, who I don't really talk to much anymore, left the church. He chose to leave, which in a way is harder than him being excommunicated. He said he felt prompted to leave. Which makes me wonder "What is the truth?" Sometimes I feel miracles are happening in my life---and that at times prayers are being answered. But are they being answered? Or is this merely some sort of cosmic energy?
I've been praying more that I'd know that the gospel is true. If I knew without a doubt in my head, being the only one still going to church (or feeling like I am) wouldn't be so lonely. I don't know why I'm not that popular with Mohos---why I've never really been invited to parties and things like that. I could handle that easier if I wasn't feeling like I was the only Moho around. Maybe if I was more open minded to marriage, less opinionated about every topic on the planet, or went to JIM I'd be part of the cool Moho gang and be invited to things ... so then I wouldn't be the only one. I dunno.
Sometimes I just wish I didn't have doubts that my whole life was a complete sham if it turned out the church wasn't right. When I see people leaving the church, especially when they say the spirit told them to do so, it causes doubts.
And I don't like that.