I have a lot of struggles in my life, but that doesn't really include my attractions or sexuality. My struggles are of a financial nature as I struggle to get a hold on my finances, get my debts under control, etc.
I try my best to look to my future with positivity knowing that all my dreams can become true if I want them to.
Many Mohos have dreams. I know I do. I've talked about my dreams of owning a home, having a family, living the American dream.
Here are some of the dreams I hear regularly from Mohos, but then they say they're unattainable:
1) Marriage: If I wanted to get married, I know I could. I'm attractive, a good guy, friendly personality, and I'm church oriented. I'm sure there are plenty of women I could choose from if I wanted marriage. For other mohos who want to get married, that is a possibility as well. There's nothing which states that marriage is an impossibility---just find a female best friend, get your life in control, and do it. I think marrying a best friend is a great option for men like us. You're already committed to each other on a friendship level. And honestly, the Mohos I know who are married have made very good husbands if they're open and honest with their wives. The worst marriages are those which begin with lies. However, there's no reason why those who WANT to be married couldn't get married. If that's your dream: Why do we limit ourselves by saying we cannot do that? Or say that our sexuality limits us?
2) Career: If I wanted to change careers, I know I could. I choose to remain in my preferred profession because it brings me joy. And someday, I hope it will bring financial success. Employment is a big issue for many people. But it IS possible to be successful and get everything in order financially. It just takes some work. But having a great job is totally possible! Why do we limit ourselves by saying we cannot do that? Or say that our sexuality limits us?
3) Children: If you're married and want children, there are many ways of doing it. Adoption. IVF. The natural way. Fostering. Even as single men and women, its not an impossibility. For me, children are important. Why do we limit ourselves by saying we cannot do that? Or say that our sexuality limits us?
4) Fixing bad habits: We are in control of our own destiny and our actions. Even with addictions, we can get our lives in order. Why do we limit ourselves by saying we cannot do that? Or say that our sexuality limits us?
5) Live the gospel standards: Sure, the church community sucks a lot of the time. Seriously. I hate the LDS culture so much. However, I still want to live gospel standards as much as I can. I hear a lot of complaining about LDS standards in the moho community. "Oh, its so hard... I'm gay, I cannot do such and such..." Seeing the gospel rules from this perspective would make it seem harder than it actually is. If you've chosen the gospel in your life, you get it with the good and the bad. But there's no reason why we cannot mature our perspectives to allow us to remain in the gospel. Why do we limit ourselves by saying we cannot do that? Or say that our sexuality limits us?
Our dreams are attainable. Our sexuality doesn't have to limit them.
Some of us in the church will choose not to remain in the gospel. Some will choose to leave. But we are still brothers and still can be friends. We don't have to let differences of perspective change that. I've met guys who refuse to talk to their friends once that friend has left the church... We don't have to do that. We can and should whenever possible to continue those friendships. We all need friends, love and support. We don't need divisions, splitting hairs, and divisions.
So look to the future with positivity. Work on your dreams. And don't let your sexual preference tell you that your future is unattainable.
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