I wrote a long email explaining a lot of my conflicts with the LDS church, the gospel, being gay, and wanting love in an email.
Its in my drafts folder.
No one will likely ever read it.
Why? Because it is far too personal. I don't even think I would want to share it with the Savior although He knows how I feel. It is almost a shaming factor. I don't want to admit that I feel differently from how I used to feel.
I love the gospel, but I love the touch of a man's skin too. I love to be loved. I don't always feel loved. I wish I didn't feel conflicts. I wish I was always happy and at peace.
I wrote a lot of things down to tell certain individuals in my life, but I could never tell them. Ever. Its too personal. Its too wracked with emotions. Its too raw.
Some things are better left unsent.