Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone with the church.
Sometimes I feel like I don't have anywhere to turn to.
I stopped praying more than once a week a long time ago.
I don't read the scriptures much.
And I'm unhappy and feel desperately, hopelessly, alone.
I think that my first two sentences are a reflection and result of my second two sentences. I don't know why I am so hurt sometimes by the church. Why is it that the church has to make statements which make me feel small and worthless? Why do I interpret them that way?
I just wish I felt something---anything---instead of feeling alone.
I need to try my best to at least say prayers sometimes. And read the scriptures sometimes. And I need to stop being so rebellious at heart with things from LDS culture and the gospel. I will probably never be a fan of LDS cultural things... You'll never see me rocking out to the Osmonds. But maybe, just maybe, there's hope for this rebellious heart.