Two months ago...

... I used to blog regularly. For the last couple of months I've been busy. Sure, I know that sounds like a really lame excuse but in all sincerity... I have been busy.

For all of May, I've been in South America. Revisiting old friends and meeting some new ones.

I rediscovered this song and I absolutely love it. It is from a Swedish musical about the trials of emigrants from the country in the 19th century. As I'm a social history geek, I enjoy the songs I've heard thus far... even with very limited Swedish knowledge.

The English translation follows, taken from various sources. You can look up the song on Youtube...

Du måste finnas from Kristina från Duvemåla

You expelled me God
From my homeland I was torn
Here I seek refuge and am a strange
and that fate I willingly accept
but you took my child...
you seperate me from my husband
I can no longer see a purpose...

What is it you want? What should I believe in?
What is it Lord that you want? That I am not seeing?
Never once have I dared
Never until today

Who is to save me if into the darkness I fall?
Now that I need more than ever to have my God near me...
Do you hear when I call? Are you there after all?

The thought is terrifying, before me gapes an abyss
My whole being is in turmoil and wants to say no
The question is asked and my soul trembles in wait for the answer
... That you don't exist
Though I believed in you
Who would help me endure life in this place out there?
Who would give me the strength that I must recieve?
Who would console me, I am so small on this here earth
If you weren't there, what would i do then?

No you have to be there, you have to...
I want to live my life through you
Without you I am a remnant on a dark and stormy sea
You have to be there, you have to, how can you abandon me?
I would be nowhere.
I would be nothing if you weren't there.

Never before has it been in my thoughts or in my speech
That little word that scares me and torments me so...
The word is "if", if I prayed all my prayers for nothing
If you aren't there...
what shall I do then?

Who would sense my my dread, and then forgive me?
The peace in my soul, who would bestow upon me?
Who would greet me in the end after dying?
It you aren't there, who would take care of me then?
No, you have to be there, you have to, live my life through you
Without you I'm a remnant on a dark and stormy sea
You have to be there, you have to, how can you abandon me?
I would be nowhere
I would be nothing if you weren't there...

You have to be there, you have to, how can you abandon me?
I would be nowhere
I would be nothing if you weren't there...



I would be truly lost without God in my life. I do not know how inactive members of the church can handle that seperation.

The only difference with how I feel with these lyrics... is that to me, it doesn't matter if God doesn't exist or not. I do not mean to sound blasphemous because I know He exists and watches over us. I merely state that to me, it doesn't matter if He is there because I want to live a good life... and so even if I die and that is the end of my life as I know it, at least I have done all I can to be a good friend, charitable person, etc.

Being Gay or Same-gender attracted doesn't mean we cannot be those things: Good Sons, Good Neighbors, Good people. However, it doesn't excuse immoral behavior either. I think so many people get caught up in that "Well, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm a bad person..." because it doesn't mean that at all.

And, the Gospel doesn't teach that you are either. So why can't more people reconcile their hurt feelings, get off their Pro-Everything soapbox and get back to the root of the good things in this life... which stem from the Gospel.

I am excited to go to my new ward tomorrow. For those who don't know, I've graduated from BYU officially and I am now living in Salt Lake City with my family. Woohoo!

Everyone email me and tell me how you're doing!