I'm not talking about change therapy, although that is "the" hot topic for the Moho community. Much like an episode of The View, this hot topic is much discussed and argued about.
No, my change is something physical which I am working on. THE GYM.
I've gone through spurts in the past where I go to the gym. Its not always been fun for me. Usually interrupted by illness and then I stop going.
About a month and a half ago, I joined a gym. I go nearly everyday although I miss plenty due to illness, a wedding, etc. But I am sticking with it. I am sticking with a diet plan which is low in salt and sugar, high in fresh vegetables and fruit and healthy lean proteins. I have lost about 5-6 lbs since joining the gym. I have been meeting with a personal trainer who is a total jerk but who helps me to continue on.
I have seen a change in my belief about myself as I've improved myself physically. I feel more masculine. I feel more confident. I feel better about myself.
It doesn't take a lot of work to make a change. And that change is more effective than the years I spent trying to change my orientation which took years of my life with no results.
So work on making change in your life whatever that means. :)
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Why I am the way that I am... Part 4
I'm overly sensitive at times, I suppose. I hate rejection. Even if its small ways.
Recently I saw someone on the street who I thought was a friend---a member of the Moho community who I befriended when he was new to the group. Only to discover that evidently he's not a friend, really. A simple hello was ignored. I've been taken off his facebook friends' list after not having done anything to hurt him. I hadn't even spoken to him online in a year. Why the removal unless its something personal against me?
I don't know why but I see more and more rejection from these types of people in my future. People who refuse to accept me the way that I am despite them being supposed leaders of this community. I'm not expecting a bunch of deep late-night chats but a simple hello would have sufficed. If he'd just said "Hello Brad!" it would have been fine. Our eyes made contact for crying out loud. I am tall. Not easily missed.
So ridiculous.
Why do I feel sometimes that life is just an extension of the schoolyard playground of being ignored? Had no friends in elementary school. Now I'm in my 30's and I'm treated basically the same way. Ignored and rejected by people.
Am I so irreverent and beyond hope that I'm not even worthy of friendship from N* leaders?
So thats why I am sensitive. I had a bad childhood. I don't know why I should be ignored now when I don't think I've done anything wrong.
Recently I saw someone on the street who I thought was a friend---a member of the Moho community who I befriended when he was new to the group. Only to discover that evidently he's not a friend, really. A simple hello was ignored. I've been taken off his facebook friends' list after not having done anything to hurt him. I hadn't even spoken to him online in a year. Why the removal unless its something personal against me?
I don't know why but I see more and more rejection from these types of people in my future. People who refuse to accept me the way that I am despite them being supposed leaders of this community. I'm not expecting a bunch of deep late-night chats but a simple hello would have sufficed. If he'd just said "Hello Brad!" it would have been fine. Our eyes made contact for crying out loud. I am tall. Not easily missed.
So ridiculous.
Why do I feel sometimes that life is just an extension of the schoolyard playground of being ignored? Had no friends in elementary school. Now I'm in my 30's and I'm treated basically the same way. Ignored and rejected by people.
Am I so irreverent and beyond hope that I'm not even worthy of friendship from N* leaders?
So thats why I am sensitive. I had a bad childhood. I don't know why I should be ignored now when I don't think I've done anything wrong.
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