Monday, July 7, 2008

My latest

... So I met with the Bishop the second time yesterday. I'm on an "Informal Probation" for a few months until I can get my Temple Recommend. That is nothing too severe, in a sense, compared to disfellowship or a formal probation.

However, it is hard in its own way...

I cannot take the sacrament, pray in public meetings or participate in class discussions. So basically, when I'm at church I sit by myself, don't say a word during the lesson, and I cannot do really anything but read.

Church is supposed to charge my batteries. However, yesterday being my first Sunday on the Informal Probation meant I got no charge. I don't feel good this week. Things like talking in class, sharing experiences with the lesson and praying in class help me...

I'm sure the church has its reasons for these rules in the informal probation. I have to figure out a way to get a spiritual charging of my batteries because right now I'm not feeling very strongly charged. Does any of this make sense?

I was thinking that during church I would bring my journal and record thoughts because I cannot voice them out loud.

I would appreciate prayers and maybe a phone call, email or something for those who know me...

6 comments:

Abelard Enigma said...

Give it a couple more weeks. If you still feel the same then talk to your bishop about your concerns. Bishop's have a lot of latitude in the conditions for informal probation.

Post-It Boy said...

I just feel so empty and its only been a single week without the sacrament and things...

Maybe I'm just a big baby. haha. But I just don't feel very "full" spiritually.

Felicity said...

I've never actually met you, though I love your Blog. But I'll send my prayers and good thoughts your way. I think the journal idea is a good one. Stay strong...you can do it :)

alea said...

You can't participate in class discussions?! I've never heard of this stricture, and I'm someone who's been disfellowshipped.

Abelard Enigma said...

I agree. We have an active brother in our ward who is excommunicated. While he can't take the sacrament or say prayers, he can and does participate in class discussions, sings in the choir, and even has a calling (excommunicated members, like non-members, can hold non-leadership/non-teaching callings).

Like I said, talk to your bishop about your concerns. He has quite a bit of latitude in situations like yours and it does seem that he is being overly strict. If it gets to a point where you start to feel like you don't want to go to church then the conditions imposed upon you become self defeating. If you feel strongly enough and don't feel like you are getting anywhere with your bishop then talk to your stake president.

-Azo- said...

whoa.

I feel comparatively evil.

I don't participate in class.
& I didn't know you couldn't participate on probation.

Probably because I would expect to be forced(gently coerced to that point where it's easier to just cave?) into joining the discussion.

I know its probably lame-oid of me and all, but I think the fact that you are feeling like you are missing that spiritual charge is pretty spiritual in itself.

You must be pretty in tune with the gospel and stuff. but mostly the gospel.